The other day I was going through my DVR to remove old television programs that I’m no longer intending to watch. After getting rid of some old Office reruns and a less than stellar Stargate Universe finale I happened across the Lost season finale. I haven’t been able to bring myself to delete it yet. I decided that before I deleted the show I needed to indulge my love for it one last time so I decided to watch particular parts from the finale.
:::MAJOR LOST SPOILER WARNING BELOW!:::
I went through the entire finale and stopped only to watch the parts where the characters had their moments of remembering each other and their time on the island -the very powerful flashes recounting several of the characters shared moments from all 6 seasons of the show. I remember my good friend, Misty (who is currently in grad school to become a film actor) had mentioned during our Lost finale party about a month ago how juicy the experience must be for the actors to play a scene where suddenly they remember and recognize their long lost very deep relationship with one another. Indeed, it was very powerful and heart warming to watch each character “awaken” into a world where suddenly their problems didn’t matter any more and their destiny became clear (to ascend to whatever comes next after death).
My reaction to one awakening, in particular, caught me off guard with an emotional reaction of my own that I was not expecting to experience… Jack is a character that I feel I can relate to in many ways. He is a very internalized character who is alone with himself in many ways (which is ironic because he was the one always preaching “live together, die alone” -but I digress). Whenever Jack experienced any troubles he would often have to go off and isolate himself to work things out (something that I also do). Jack is a man who has done his best to move forward in life but was still haunted by things from his past -human things. Things like how he never was able to really get straight with his father who was an alcoholic. Throughout all of Lost Jack struggled with understanding his destiny and purpose amidst the background of coming to grips with his father’s flaws -which included flaws that he, no doubt, also observed within himself. The moment which really struck me -and struck me hard- came when Jack and his father, Christian, came, at last to meet each other and Jack discovered that, in fact, he, his father, and everyone else were already dead. Jack has a moment where finally he realizes that he can release everything that he so desperately was trying to hang on to for the sake of saving the world. He had done everything that he could. He was now dead -and as such, he had done all that he could do. His entire life spent trying to figure out his father and what, of his father, he was himself; all of the pain and confusion and lack of answers; all of the things that were never figured out or said between Jack and his father -none of that mattered, anymore. He could let it all go. He was just there with his father and they were able to share each others pain and love in a way that was completely unabashed and unhindered for the first time ever. All that ever weighed Jack down was now lifted. All that remained for Jack to do was simply go out into the church to be in the company and love of all of his friends that he had worked so hard to protect… This is something that I want so desperately for myself. -To live in a space where all confusion and heartache and past pain is lifted and forgiven. All that remains is for everyone to really see and love one another -to travel together into the unknown -the next big adventure. This is something that I very strongly believe will happen to me one day. I honestly believe that in some form or another -when I die, all will be released and all that will exist will be love and togetherness.
Do you remember that beautiful movie What Dreams May Come? My friend Kristin reminded me of that movie the other day when I was explaining to her my reaction to re-watching the Lost finale (as described above). As someone who’s creative work (my blog) is ALSO named after a Shakespeare quote (“Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms! / Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health…” from Romeo and Juliet) it is of no major suprise to me that I feel as though something in What Dream May Come operates on the same wavelength as the kind of things that goes on in my head and heart. (In case you didn’t notice – “What dreams may come” is an excerpt from the famous “To be, or not to be?” speech from Shakespeare’s Hamlet: “For who knows what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil.”) Here is what I love about What Dreams May Come: It’s a film that beautifully illustrates a man’s navigation of his own toils on his quest to find love (home). As he becomes ready in stages along his journey, he comes to re-discover and truly see himself and his family (of whom he had been tragically separated from in a freak car accident which resulted in everyone’s death). I honestly believe that when we die we go on a similar journey -one to reclaim love and release into oblivion all the junk that we had accumulated in our mortal lives.
But why wait until I die, right? What benefit can be had right now -today? How can I work each day to let go of the things that weigh me down so that I can more fully connect and love those who are dear to me? Let this be my mission. Let this take my focus.